Gripping thoughts and a loud cry from within, yet I am unable to completely express myself; am I simply concerned about whether I will be heard or given a platform to do so? Thoughts reverberate all around me, with a bang that never seems to fade, and a concern, grief, and aggravation that no one can really comprehend, or perhaps is uninterested in understanding.
You know, no one ever openly discusses the poisonous or toxic work environment—that terrible supervisor, boss or coworker who has it in for you. No one ever discusses with real concern the violent or toxic relationship that has steadily drained your life away. And no one talks about the time you became your worst enemy of growth, peace, and sanity, when you began to lose sight of anything good about yourself, those accomplishments, no matter how small or large they were or how far you had come.
Nobody ever discusses the daily demands placed on women about everything from the ticking clock to having a child, getting married, being suitable, being slender, and being some type of attractive. No one ever discusses South Africa's youth unemployment rates: the graduate who is sitting at home, not by choice or lack of effort; the graduate who has become a nanny, cleaner, gardener, prostitute, and so on, not by choice but by necessity and circumstance.
Don't get me wrong; this is not an attempt to
denigrate those who do such jobs; rather, it is an illustration of the reality of
our people's lives, a reality whose influence is often underestimated and
overlooked.
Nobody ever discusses the depths and demands
of the black tax or even takes the time to ask the genuine questions, instead
jumping to conclusions or assuming you are ungrateful for how your family
supported you prior to your success or what looks like success in their eyes.
No one ever talks about the devastation that occurs when you just divorced
or separated from your partner, discovered your partner is cheating, or abandoned
by your baby daddy with no evident means to support you or the child. Nobody
ever talks about the man who is emotionally assaulted on a daily basis by his
partner. No one ever discusses the sexual abuse that males face or the
consequences of being unable to open up about it—the lingering thoughts that
crimple them until there is nothing left of who they used to be.
No one ever discusses the mistreatment of the
daughter-in-law by her mother-in-law or their in-laws in general. No one ever
talks about the rape that resulted in me having a child. The battle to love and
hate at the same time, remembering how she or he came to be, torn between love
and pain that attempted to replace itself with hatred. No one ever mentions the
physical scar he left on my body, the STI, STD, or HIV/AIDS he/she infected me
with. And yet, by all means and indications, I am expected to live, be grateful
and happy that I am still alive.
Questions go through my mind, wondering if Am
I still living or surviving or has tragedy, the trauma and pain killed me? Am I
just a shadow of who I used to be? Just maybe no one ever discusses it because
no one really cares or understands the weight of what I am going through. And
yet, boldly, and naively, you (we) claim that mental health issues are only for
the wealthy, attention seekers, and the weak.
Reality Check: Life can be harsh and brutal at
times, and no matter how strong you are, you can find yourself in its ruthless
clutches, pulling you apart piece by piece.
SELAH!
This is so deep, I can relate to this, war within, many people wait until there is a crisis to talk about it,but it doesn't have to be that way, we can all help each other to heal if we can stop being judgement and show compassion to each other, we are all going through it.
ReplyDeleteThat is quite accurate, reader. When life gets rough, it is our job to take the first step and ask for help. We also have a responsibility to be kind to others. The road of life requires us to be kind.
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